I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
