i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
