wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
