I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
