Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (254)

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Last Night in Texas (254)

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(254): View more from Texas

I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.

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(254): View more from Texas

As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities

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(254): View more from Texas

I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!

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(254): View more from Texas

I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.

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(254): View more from Texas

How’d it go?

(915): View more from Texas

I accidentally joined a cult

(254): View more from Texas

So not great...

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(254): View more from Texas

Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?

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(254): View more from Texas

Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap

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(254): View more from Texas

All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.

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