Last Night in Kentucky (270)

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  When have you ever know me to go too far?

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Yeah. Besides those.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  and for that you shall suffer

  (618): View more from Illinois

  God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Most of the people I know from AA

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Haha touché

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We need to get on her level.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Like Napoleon Dynamite?

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  But with bacon.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  He hit me with his bagpipe

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  And this is why we can’t have nice things

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.

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