Last Night in France (+33)

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• (+33): View more from France

  On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."

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• (+33): View more from France

  how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?

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• (+33): View more from France

  So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?

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• (+33): View more from France

  Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.

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• (+33): View more from France

  If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.

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• (+33): View more from France

  We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?

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• (+33): View more from France

  I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.

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• (+33): View more from France

  I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."

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• (+33): View more from France

  It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"

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• (+33): View more from France

  He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands

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• (+33): View more from France

  Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee

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• (+33): View more from France

  He asked me how france is treating me

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away

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• (+33): View more from France

  Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.

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• (+33): View more from France

  I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.

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