i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize