you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize