Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
