I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize