I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
