If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
