I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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