Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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