Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
