why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
