So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
