How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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