Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize