I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
