There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize