i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
