Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
