listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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