and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
