Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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