how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
