Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
