i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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