I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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