I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
wow bdsm is so cute
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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