I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I deserve this hangover.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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