My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
