Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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