Last Night in Germany (+49)

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  Why is there a condom in my ukulele?

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  So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly

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  i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen

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  it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise

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  Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party

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  whats a cultural enlightenment party

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  we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out

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  Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?

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  I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night

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  I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face

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