Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (559)

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Last Night in California (559)

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(559): View more from California

It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.

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(559): View more from California

Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.

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(559): View more from California

Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.

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(559): View more from California

Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?

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(559): View more from California

Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.

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(559): View more from California

I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.

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(559): View more from California

I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.

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(559): View more from California

I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.

(925): View more from California

Huzzah!

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