Last Night in Texas (979)

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever

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• (979): View more from Texas

  I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare

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• (979): View more from Texas

  I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.

  (936): View more from Texas

  Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!

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• (903): View more from Texas

  On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?

  (979): View more from Texas

  Definite 12.2 but worth it.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert

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• (979): View more from Texas

  I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack

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• (979): View more from Texas

  The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him

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