he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize