She's JV to your varsity
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
