So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
