You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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