ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
