Last Night in Pennsylvania (610)

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  his penis was the training wheels of my sex life

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly

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