After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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