Last Night in Colorado (720)

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Can we agree to not tell mom about this?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  God works in mysterious ways my friend.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.

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• (415): View more from California

  Feeling better?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  So you met him?

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.

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