Last Night in Michigan (586)

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  You're so nebulous sometimes

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm not a real person

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry, everyone knows that

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Why are you such a perv today?

  (586): View more from Michigan

  This is a lot to handle

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  Oh shh

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm kidding you prude take a joke

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED

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