Last Night in Pennsylvania (814)

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.

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  Why did you want to do any of that?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be there in a few.

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  I'M COUNTING TO FEW.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.

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  I think we have a problem.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  like...quickly.

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