Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (909)

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Last Night in California (909)

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(909): View more from California

I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it

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(909): View more from California

if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids

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(909): View more from California

dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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(909): View more from California

Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass

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(909): View more from California

We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.

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(909): View more from California

why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?

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(909): View more from California

how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?

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(909): View more from California

I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.

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