I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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