What a fucking waste of an outfit
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
