Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
