woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
