I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
