Last Night in Michigan (810)

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  You have the best birthdays

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Yes. Highly encouraged though.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  That you did

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon

  (810): View more from Michigan

  what a trade!

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