Last Night in Florida (850)

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??

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• (850): View more from Florida

  If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up

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• (850): View more from Florida

  You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home

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• (850): View more from Florida

  There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.

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