I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
