Last Night in North Carolina (336)

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i cant lie to you.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  how did your night go?

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he asked for my myspace name.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just pynch a tree in the face

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I know, I was there.

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