Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
