So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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